Lord, While I'm Single...

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-I Wanna Be His Woman-

•I wanna be the woman that makes his heart bubble with affectionate words; and yet makes him speechless when he's around me. 

•I wanna be the woman that brings out his tender, gentle, side; and yet makes him blaze with protective harshness when necessary. 

•I wanna be the woman that encourages him loudly in public; and yet encourages him just as much, and even more so, when we're alone. 

•I wanna be the woman that is strong enough to support him when he's hurting, sick, or down; and yet who is humble enough to be lead and supported by him so much more. 

•I wanna be the woman that makes him chuckle and shake his head at me as I randomly dance while doing the dishes; and yet makes him fervently dance with me in his arms when our song comes on. 

•I wanna be the woman that makes him eager to plan and prepare for specific time together; and yet causes him to spontaneously desire to spend time with me during the simplest of things. 

•I wanna be the woman that doesn't burden him with my financial struggles; but comes to him with the gift of her own financial security. 

•I wanna be the woman that allows him time to do what he loves and supports his own dreams; and yet the one that is on his mind the whole time he's away and the one he can't wait to get back to. 

•I wanna be the woman that earnestly tries to meld with his household and love upon his family; and also the one that makes him feel welcome and comfortable with mine. 

•I wanna be the woman that has a hot, home-cooked, meal ready for him when he comes home from work; but also the woman that calls him randomly in the middle of the afternoon and asks "can we go out for tacos tonight?"

•I wanna be the woman that supports and is involved with his love of sports, or sci fi, or action, or whathavehim; but also the one who sits on the couch, leaning on him, reading as he's watching it. 

•I wanna be the woman that helps him dream big and bold for our future; and also who helps anchor him firmly when he gets caught up in them. 

•I wanna be the woman that he can tease and joke and goof around with; and also the shoulder he can cry on when the pain of life hits him. 

•I wanna be the woman that he looks at on our wedding day and thinks that he couldn't possibly love me any more; and still the woman that he looks at 60 years later and realizes how wrong he was then. 

•I wanna be the woman that he grabs the hand of, and promises to never let go, when I'm young and full of life; and still the woman he makes the same promise to when I'm old, frail, and deteriorating. 

•I wanna be the woman that he promises before God to love and cherish; and the same woman that he fulfills that promise to. 

•I wanna be the woman that my future husband has always prayed for; and the same woman that never stops praying for her man. 

I Don't Date

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I don't date.

Maybe I should rephrase myself. I don't play the culturally-outlined dating game.

Before you close this internet tab and write me off as a psycho, hear me out.

69 Years

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It was just a little grocery store cake. It was just another couple holding hands.

But it was not just another anniversary.

Purity Is Not Just Virginity

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“How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to Your Word.”  (Psalm 119:9)

                Christian culture avoids it. Many pastors will never even mention it at the pulpit. You won’t hear your peers talk about it. Yet it is one of the highest requirements the Lord instructs us in; Purity. To announce the biblical principle of saving intimacy for marriage offends people. Sex has become a bad word among believers. Overall the church (not a capital ‘C’) has fallen into the same rut as our near-pagan society. Nevertheless, guys and girls alike, The LORD still asks us to be pure. Paul writes to the Church to be waiting, spotless and without blemish, pure, for the return of Christ. [2 Peter 3:14] Now before you get too overwhelmed with this heavy knowledge, you need to know one more thing. Purity is so much more than just virginity. By the time we’re done, saving sex for marriage might just be the easy part. To be and stay pure as the Lord requires we must be wholly outwardly pure, inwardly pure and mentally pure.

No Vacancy!

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Well, Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and you know what that means: cheesy pick-up lines, nasty flavored candy hearts, wilted grocery store flowers, and reminders everywhere that you haven’t yet met that special person. The most romantic day of the year can also be one of the loneliest.  We live in a world where the word “love” is just a nonchalant term, during a time period where to have a “love” is simply status quo.  As single young men and women, culture is constantly telling us to open our hearts and love will find its way in.  This Valentine’s Day, I’m telling you that not only should we NOT open our hearts, but we should also be guarding them tightly.  

I was shopping at a local thrift store the other week and came across a grey, crew neck shirt.  It was a lady’s cut, which, as long as it wasn’t too tight, would suit my figure well. Over the front was a bright pink heart. I really wanted to like it, overall the whole thing was pretty; but I couldn’t. As a matter of fact, I was disgusted by it. Why would I be disgusted by a modestly-cut, well-priced, causal top, you ask? The shirt had an open sign inside the heart, that’s why.

Now, before you knock me for being against open signs, hear me out. What do you think of when you see such a sign? I envision unlocked doors. I see a place where people can enter and leave as they please.  From the viewpoint of one who is behind the counter most times, I see people who always want something from you and, more often than not, exit without even giving a tip. I watch as every person that enters leaves behind their muddy footprints or grubby fingerprints. With that being said, is that something that we should model our hearts after? Probably not.

The sad part of it is that that’s the example this culture wants our hearts to follow. It keeps telling us to ‘open our hearts, give love a try’. So many people listen to this and end up getting hurt- spiritually, emotionally, and sometimes even physically. Every person that you let walk around in your heart will leave behind their own muddy footprints. Believe me, it’s a whole lot easier to mop mud and muck off of the shop floor than it is to remove it from your heart.

So what’s the solution? How, especially during this the most tempting time of the year, can we protect ourselves from such a mess? The Bible tells us to:

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” [Proverbs 4:27]

Guard is an active word. There is nothing passive or lazy about standing vigilant watch over something. I can’t just hilly-nilly close the door to my heart and hope that it stays shut. I need to constantly be barricading it.  How do we do that? For starters, fill your life with God’s Word and go often to Him in prayer.  Then, how about taking down that open sign?! In all seriousness, maybe our heart should instead sport a nice, neon, “No Vacancy.” If I’m not advertising that there’s room for rent in my heart, then those that would try to take advantage of me relationship-wise are already filtered out.  The one that finds delight in the Lord, that fills their heart with Him and His Word, reeks to the world around them of contentment and joy.  For those who would seek to use you, those qualities are an automatic turn-off; for the godly person, they generate automatic interest.

Now, I’m not telling you to become a hermit and never socialize with people of the opposite gender. By no means do I think that’s a good idea! What I am saying is that if you keep your heart locked from the romantic emotions game, then that makes it all the more special when you do unlock the door for that one specific person. I think my man will like to enter my heart and not find anyone else’s mess already there. I know I will for his!

So, you can decide for yourself this Valentine’s Day which sign to hang over the door of your heart. As for me, this girl’s got “No Vacancy.” I will, however, be leaning against the door waiting for that one special knock…

Don't Eat The Junk Food!

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Let me tell you a story. A story about a little girl; a little girl with dirty blonde pigtails, hazel-colored eyes, a handful of freckles over the bridge of her nose, and one front tooth missing from her sweet , little smile. This little girl’s mama was making her favorite supper. Everything was gonna be made from scratch, all hot and ready, steaming on the table with delicious aroma when her daddy got home from work. The only problem was that daddy didn’t get home for 45 more minutes, and the little girl was hungry; really hungry. Disobeying her mom, she grabbed a chair, pushed it up to the pantry shelf, pulled down an armful of her favorite snacks and commenced to eat them. She took a couple nibbles of the cookie, a few handfuls of crackers, unwrapped some candies, and then went back and finished them all off. By the time her daddy walked in the door, the little girl had chocolate smears on her face, crumbs on her jumper, and a bellyache to rival all bellyaches! After indulging in every piece of junk she could finger, there was no room left to enjoy the prize that was now within reach.

What would you have done if you were that little girl? Would you have waited patiently? Or would the junk food be your choice as well? The culture of the world screams the priority of making yourself happy and taking advantage of everything life offers. The little girl listened to that message.

I read a quote the other day that I strongly disagreed with. It stated:

“A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn’t mean that she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.”                                                             -Cher

You know, that little girl did exactly what this quote inspires. Even though she was waiting for a wonderful goal, she ruined the beauty of the whole thing by being greedy and impatient. What would you think if I told you that you are that little girl? You, as an unmarried young person, are a representation of that young child waiting for your ‘special supper’; and you have a choice. Will you actively wait, patiently wait, purely wait for your future husband or wife; OR will you indulge in every available Jack or Jill who offers momentary pleasure; and I’m not just talking about the big stuff guys. Every part of your body, every new triumph, is a gift; all wrapped up. Every gift that is unwrapped before you say “I do” is one that you can never re-wrap for your spouse. Your parents get to unwrap your first smile, first words, first steps, first tears, and first laugh. I’m sure they can say more than I how special those firsts were. Likewise, there is no greater gift to give your future spouse than your first kiss, first-time holding hands, first front-to-front hug, first slow dance, and, of course, your unblemished physical purity.

Let me tell you another story; this time, about an old man. This man (Abraham) was married, well, to an old woman. God had promised a lineage more numerous than the stars in the sky [Genesis 15:5]; quite a big family! The only issue was: they had no children. Not even one! How were they supposed to receive the blessing of such a huge family without one child to even carry on their name?! They asked. God told them to wait. They waited a while, and then asked again. God renewed His promise and told them to wait. The older and older they got, the more impatient they became. Then Abraham took matters into his own hands. He started eating the junk food, so to speak, and created a child with his servant. God rejected this child as the promised blessing. Abraham spoiled his ‘special supper’, his blessed family line, with an impatient substitute. The Lord did eventually fulfill His promise to Abraham through his wife (Sarah); but even to this day we suffer the effects of Abraham’s rash decision. Abraham couldn’t, and didn’t, escape the consequences of chowing on the junk food; and neither will you and I if we try!

It’s hard! I know. It’s not easy to be a patient waiter. It’s challenging to always be focusing your mind and heart on God until He points out “the one”. You can look around to your peers and see the obvious results of their not quite making it. Now in no sense am I saying that because of any slip, big or small, that they are bad people or that they have ruined their life or spoiled their chance. Maybe even you have missed the highest mark a little. No one is perfect. DON’T DESPAIR! I think Abraham is a great example, and a source of hope, to those of us who may have been impatient. Even after many others may have thought he blew it, God turned his man-made mess into a wonderful, fully forgiven, life. Yours can be too. I want to encourage you friend. I want you to know that even though the entire world pressures you into compromising, YOU CAN STAND FIRM. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 

The Bible talks of another man (Timothy), very close to our age, who was being looked down on, maybe even pressured, because of his standards for God. God, through Paul, encourages him to stand firm. Encourages him to:

“Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” (1 Timothy 4:12 NLT)

The little girl messed up. Abraham was forgiven (and still called righteous, mind you! [Hebrews 11:8-12]) Timothy overcame. I’m sure, somehow, you, too, have messed up. We all have. You can stay there OR you can seek forgiveness from God and overcome in the future. It’s up to you.