2021 Vision

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It's a new year, Y'all. Go ahead, clear those 2020 bingo cards; it's a new year, a new round. 

Cinderella Gown

 

“This is my Cinderella gown, do you think my Prince Charming will like it?”

Mornings

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Her eyes opened to the sensation of light seeping in through the window blind. She slowly adjusted her position in bed. “What time is it?” 8:04. She moaned softly as the expected feeling of restfulness never came. Instead, tiredness washed over her aching body. Everything in her wanted to roll back over, throw the blanket over her head, and procrastinate the day’s issues just a bit longer. But that wasn’t really an option today.

She hadn’t slept super well. She finally drifted off to sleep sometime after midnight; then she just kept waking up. She saw 1:30 all the way to 2:00, 6:00, 6:30, and now 8:04. She quit. Attempting to sleep was finished for the night. Yet, somehow she still didn’t feel rested; but when did she ever?

It was in these quiet moments of the morning when her mind most wandered through the impending stresses of the day. Her thoughts mounted a “To-Do” list nigh-on a mile long. Chores, scheduling stuff, phone calls, appointments, all those weighty decisions that need to be made… The sun had barely peeped through the night sky while burdens began piling on her shoulders.

...And then there was yesterday. Apparently it wasn’t enough to have all of today’s issues looming over her already, that now we needed to add yesterday’s unsolved woes, too? Every single problem of previous came rushing back like a flood. “Well, I didn’t get that done.” “That was never fully resolved.” “Oh yeah, that hurt and made me cry.” “Yep. That worry never went away.” And on and on and on. This was all much too much for 8am… She needed coffee.

The Dance

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"Do you trust me?"

She could hear the smile in his voice without seeing it. His tone was mostly calm, yet peaked with minor fragments of excitement and thrill. She returned the expression that she heard on his face. 

Giggling, she responded, "Yes! Of course I trust you!"

Her fingers played with the soft fabric that covered her eyes as she attempted a peek at his face, but they were intercepted by his own hands grasping hers. 

"Ah, ah, ah, ah! No peeking! You said you trusted me..." His voice still filled with mirth.

She released a fast sigh and chuckled. "Alright, fair enough! I trust you. The bandana can stay."

"Wonderful. Now follow my lead."

Shells

I love the beach.

The vivid brightness of the sun, the freshness of the breeze, the sound of the waves slowly kissing the shoreline, the warm sand against my bare toes... I love the beach.

I Hope You Dance

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"And we're dancing in the minefields....
                       We're sailing in the storms.....
                                        And this is harder than we dreamed; but I believe.
                                                               
                                                   That's what the promise is for."          

-Andrew Peterson, Dancing in the Minefields

-I Wanna Be His Woman-

•I wanna be the woman that makes his heart bubble with affectionate words; and yet makes him speechless when he's around me. 

•I wanna be the woman that brings out his tender, gentle, side; and yet makes him blaze with protective harshness when necessary. 

•I wanna be the woman that encourages him loudly in public; and yet encourages him just as much, and even more so, when we're alone. 

•I wanna be the woman that is strong enough to support him when he's hurting, sick, or down; and yet who is humble enough to be lead and supported by him so much more. 

•I wanna be the woman that makes him chuckle and shake his head at me as I randomly dance while doing the dishes; and yet makes him fervently dance with me in his arms when our song comes on. 

•I wanna be the woman that makes him eager to plan and prepare for specific time together; and yet causes him to spontaneously desire to spend time with me during the simplest of things. 

•I wanna be the woman that doesn't burden him with my financial struggles; but comes to him with the gift of her own financial security. 

•I wanna be the woman that allows him time to do what he loves and supports his own dreams; and yet the one that is on his mind the whole time he's away and the one he can't wait to get back to. 

•I wanna be the woman that earnestly tries to meld with his household and love upon his family; and also the one that makes him feel welcome and comfortable with mine. 

•I wanna be the woman that has a hot, home-cooked, meal ready for him when he comes home from work; but also the woman that calls him randomly in the middle of the afternoon and asks "can we go out for tacos tonight?"

•I wanna be the woman that supports and is involved with his love of sports, or sci fi, or action, or whathavehim; but also the one who sits on the couch, leaning on him, reading as he's watching it. 

•I wanna be the woman that helps him dream big and bold for our future; and also who helps anchor him firmly when he gets caught up in them. 

•I wanna be the woman that he can tease and joke and goof around with; and also the shoulder he can cry on when the pain of life hits him. 

•I wanna be the woman that he looks at on our wedding day and thinks that he couldn't possibly love me any more; and still the woman that he looks at 60 years later and realizes how wrong he was then. 

•I wanna be the woman that he grabs the hand of, and promises to never let go, when I'm young and full of life; and still the woman he makes the same promise to when I'm old, frail, and deteriorating. 

•I wanna be the woman that he promises before God to love and cherish; and the same woman that he fulfills that promise to. 

•I wanna be the woman that my future husband has always prayed for; and the same woman that never stops praying for her man. 

Cleansed

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Her heart rate quickened with sensual lust. 

Her eyes lit up like fire. 

Her breathing sped, her gaze was fixed-

On that, her carnal desire. 

Grit&Grace- Not Just Another Pretty Face~ The Widow, Desperate Yet Obedient

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So here we are with yet another post in our Grit&Grace series! 
Geez, life has been busy lately! I'm tired. I have a headache. But the Lord is faithful. He always provides for our needs according to the dictates of His will, am I right?

He is. His faithfulness and provision are exactly what today's thought is about.

Grit&Grace- Not Just Another Pretty Face~ Rahab, Radically Redeemed

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So, week two of our Thursday Grit&Grace Series! I've been super busy this week, life is crazy like that sometimes; but I've had this week's topic on my heart since LAST week, so here goes...

Ever hear of Rahab? 

The prostitute? Yep, That one!

Grit&Grace- Not Just Another Pretty Face~ Hannah, Hurting Yet Hopeful

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Hey there! Welcome to the first installment of aHeartinWaiting's weekly series posts. Basically, for those of you that are hearing this idea for the first time, I am endeavoring to begin a weekly posting, on Thursdays, specifically set aside to delve deeper into some of our topics. This will allow us to study and focus on some things for a bit longer than the usual one posting; all while giving me leeway to post as the Spirit leads, like normal. So our Thursday series will be linked together with each other, and yet separate from my other spur-of-the-moment thoughts. Hopefully this will be a more substantial and regular blessing for all y'all awesome readers out there!

ANYWHO! (enough of the public service announcement, am I right?!)

Our first series is entitled "Grit&Grace- Not Just Another Pretty Face". This series will be roughly six weeks long and will focus on the account of a different woman of the Bible each time. We will be delving into the details of the story and really looking at characteristics of each of these women and also how the Lord worked mightily through their lives. I've really been pumped about it ever since the Lord laid the idea on my heart. I pray that it will speak to you as well.

Well, without further ado.... Series1Post1~ Hannah, hurting yet hopeful. 

Purity Is Not Just Virginity

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“How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to Your Word.”  (Psalm 119:9)

                Christian culture avoids it. Many pastors will never even mention it at the pulpit. You won’t hear your peers talk about it. Yet it is one of the highest requirements the Lord instructs us in; Purity. To announce the biblical principle of saving intimacy for marriage offends people. Sex has become a bad word among believers. Overall the church (not a capital ‘C’) has fallen into the same rut as our near-pagan society. Nevertheless, guys and girls alike, The LORD still asks us to be pure. Paul writes to the Church to be waiting, spotless and without blemish, pure, for the return of Christ. [2 Peter 3:14] Now before you get too overwhelmed with this heavy knowledge, you need to know one more thing. Purity is so much more than just virginity. By the time we’re done, saving sex for marriage might just be the easy part. To be and stay pure as the Lord requires we must be wholly outwardly pure, inwardly pure and mentally pure.

What If?

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I was the little girl who had every detail of her future wedding planned before she reached double digits.

I was the little girl who took forever to set up her Barbie house, just so that every area would be perfect for when my husband, the Ken doll, got home from his imaginary job.

I was the little girl that would hug my doll close to me at nighttime and drift off to sleep while praying to God that one day He'd give me one of my own.

That little girl is still inside me. That little girl, with all her hopes and dreams and prayers for the future, is still in there.

But what if?

When Life Gets Busy...

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Busyness. It blurs our thoughts, overloads our plate, and distracts our heart from what's important. Oftentimes busyness is mistaken for success or purpose- two attributes we all covet in our own lives. We push and push, run and run, until we've robbed ourselves of every moment of rest thinking that we've achieved some note-worthy status. But it's all a lie. Busyness isn't some stress to be desired, it's a curse to be feared. Busyness is a gift, wrapped straight from the hands of Satan, given in an attempt to steal our peace, our joy, and our quality time with our people and our God. But it only works if we allow it. 

I saw this curse come into fruition yesterday as I busied myself with various chores and tasks. When I finally crawled into bed, the realization hit me that I had not spent any time in my Bible with my Lord. I had allowed my busyness to steal my time with Jesus. 

It happens fast. It's easy to leave God behind  in the wake of our good intentions. Just because I've filled my day, week, month, and year(s) with well-meaning appointments and to-do's doesn't allow me to put my relationship with God on a waiting list until I have a free moment or down day. 

The sad truth is, I've done that. 

I think we all have. 

Another side effect of busyness is the feeling of never actually accomplishing anything; like you're always moving but never going anywhere. I was reading through Haggai today, and the Lord actually addresses this issue in chapter 1. He was angry with the Israelites for not building His Temple. They of course, as all good humans do, responded with a mess of excuses. He, in His all-sovereign state, replied:

"Give careful thought to your ways. 6 You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.” ... 9 “You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the Lord Almighty. “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with your own house."

The Israelites were so busy with their own rituals, agendas, plans, and lives that they neglected God's work. Their busyness inhibited the building of God's house; and so does ours.

Side Note---Now the journey of life is just that: a journey. We all go through seasons permeated with the stresses of family illness, financial strain, study requirements, job demands, or moments where we're just off. In many of these scenarios busyness is unavoidable, and seemingly unending. We can't help that a disease-stricken loved one needs extra care, but we can help our reaction to that situation. We need to be very vigilant during these periods of life. Never exchange time with the Lord for anything. ANYTHING! The Lord never puts more in our life than we can handle. He understands our necessary busyness; but don't make Him second to anything or anyone. Keep Him first, and He'll pull you through. ---

Anyway, we need to feel the weight of this- really feel it. Busyness is Idolatry.  It's the outworking of us saying that our life and schedule is more important than our God. That's bad. The state of being busy fixes a lot of issues for people just by taking our mind off of them; but anything, and I mean any person, place, thing, idea, or itinerary that takes our focus off of God is not only harmful to us (and our relationship with Him) it's sinful- plain and simple.  

I know that I've been convicted of this. I've been found dead wrong, and I've repented. It's a hard thing to see that you're wrong, but I praise the Lord for His grace in getting me (hopefully) back on track. I encourage you now to evaluate your own life. Are you caught up in the busyness? Is there something (maybe multiple things) that has taken your focus off of God? What are some things or areas that you need to rethink, rework, or maybe even remove from your life? 

This will be something that I'll probably have to revisit again. Like I said, it's easy to get caught up in the busy. But as for today, as for this moment, I'm choosing to set aside my own agenda and build God's house. Pray for me, friends! Pray for me. 

Who Am I?

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I was blessed to speak at a young woman's seminar over the weekend. The theme essentially was our identity in Christ, and I was the opening act. I really prayed to The Lord about what He would have me say to these impressionable young girls, and He answered. He's told me to share some of that time with you young women now. I prayed to open the session and then wrote three simple words across the top of the white board: "Who Am I?" 

The Power of Meekness

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“Meek is weak.” That was it. That was all she said. My naïve eyes were opened that day. It wasn’t just that she cut the legs out from under my godly womanhood comment with her curt, dagger-like, one. No. I realized, in that moment, that she had just exposed the single most powerful lie that the Devil has been feeding to women since the Garden of Eden. Obviously she believed it.  Many others in the room agreed with her; and I know that countless women across the globe base their lives on it. Maybe you are one of those women…

Fitted Sheets

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When my sister and I were younger we played a lot of dress-up. Mostly, we pretended to be mommies. We’d imagine that our husband was off to work somewhere and then we’d tie our apron on. The rest of the playtime consisted of cooking dinner for our pretend husband (who never showed up to eat it), cleaning our house and tending to our baby dolls; who, mind you, cried a lot! I’m sure many of you had a similar experience. You know though, those afternoon playtimes basically surmised my view of wife/motherhood. I used to believe, maybe not consciously, that a wife’s job was to cook, clean and care for her children; that was it. As I grew, however, I realized that it isn’t…ur…well at least that’s not the sum total of her job description.

The other day I was folding laundry- more specifically, a pile of sheets- and a thought crossed my mind, “He’s gonna need someone to fold the fitted sheets.” Now, I really don’t like folding fitted sheets! I’m one of those people that have a strong bit of perfectionism inside. When I’m folding laundry, I like crisp corners and neat folds. Fitted sheets break every rule in the perfect-folds booklet. With their elastic-y, gathered edges and their thick, plushy tops, it’s near impossible to get even a neat roll out of the thing; let alone a flat, crisp fold! With that being said, when this thought occurred to me it actually made me smile! How could I smile at the thought of folding fitted sheets for the rest of my life, you ask? Because the fact that, maybe just maybe, he wouldn’t need me to just cook, clean, and tend the children (like that’s not enough, right?) was a beautiful revelation. The thought that my strong, capable, future husband would actually need me to help him in more intricate ways was thrilling.

I’m a fairly independent person. As the oldest child of a big family, I think you almost need to be. You’re the one that all those younger siblings are looking up to, depending on. You’re the one that mom and dad go to first for almost everything. Over the years I’ve played roles as councilor, skape-goat, babysitter, housekeeper, personal chef, maid, psychologist, tutor, seamstress, 2^nd in command, general, and friend.  I need to be needed. So the thought that I may one day get married and no longer be as needed kinda broke my heart. Now, I don’t recall ever physically having this exact thought process, but looking back, I subconsciously believed this.

You may have felt, and thought, some of the same things. Be encouraged, dear friend! The more I’ve read, the more I’ve studied, the more I’ve watched my own mother, I’ve grown to realize that a wife-and eventually a mom, too- fills so many more roles and positions than I could even imagine. If and when the Lord has it for us to be married, that man WILL need us (and we will need him, too, but that’s another post entirely). Whether we like it or not, he WILL need us to fold those fitted sheets so that they fit into the linen closet. He WILL need us to check his pockets and make sure that he emptied them before they go into the washer; and then he WILL need us to shove those same pockets properly back into his pants before he wears them again. He’s gonna need a helpmate. He is gonna need YOU! My guy is gonna need me! As a team you’re, we’re, gonna work together in one fluid motion. For the plan that the Lord has for us to be accomplished, we’re each gonna need to do our part; you know, fill our biblical role. Whether that’s cleaning out the rain gutters to prevent ice-dams in the winter (for him) or folding those fitted sheets (for you), you’ll each have a part, a HUGE PART, to play.

So go forth and practice folding those fitted sheets. Believe me, we’ll need all the practice we can get! 

A Letter From Daddy

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A Letter From Daddy

"My precious daughter, My earthly delight,

None is more special than you in my sight.

Your features are mine. My reflection you are.

Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not up to par.

Your figure is pleasant, you’re not a disgrace.

I love every “blemish” that appears on your face.

Some proclaim you as “ugly”; too fat or too thin.

Please don’t ever listen to their opinion!

I set the standard and the goals you should preach;

And I never said the exact pound you should reach.

So don’t focus on that, keep your eyes only on me.

Then I will change how it is that you see.



As far as those scars that you cover and hide,

The ones that are seen and those deep inside.

I know how you got them and right where they're at.

And I love you in spite of them; yes, that's a fact.

When you're hurting I hurt, so I know your pain.

I won't hold sins against you. I don't play that game.

Let me mend all your scars and heal all your hurt.

Let me clean every wound from the grit and the dirt.

Run to your Daddy. Let me wipe all your tears.

Tell me your hopes and your dreams and your fears.

I'll understand if you make a mistake.

Don't give me that brave face; I know it's fake.

Remember, I knew you before you even were.

I haven't changed just because you're not sure.

When you're in it so deep that you don't even know how;

Remember: I loved you then and I love you now.



Now just one more thing, baby, before I close.

I love your whole body, from you head to your toes.

I made you real special; all your curve, shape and line.

I did it on purpose, 'twas my unique design.

Just do me one thing. It's not much I ask;

Yet I understand that it's no easy task.

Dress modestly, darling, put on some clothes!

I have reasons that even Eve needed those!

You know all those trinkets you have out on display.

They're the ones that get touched and messed with each day.

They're exposed to the dust and the filth of the air;

And they're looked at so much that you start to not care.

But the most valuable ones are wrapped up and secure.

You want to protect them. Keep them stainless and pure.

Now that's not to say that they'll never get used!

But only when it's special and they won't get abused.

Your body is like this; A valuable prize.

Don't let it be devalued by everyone's eyes.

Cover, protect it; don't flaunt it around.

I know how counter cultural this sounds.

Your body's not bad and don't hide it for shame.

If it's done for wrong motives it'll all be in vain.

I've told you "you're beautiful" and I never lie.

But this is one instance where I'll go on to say why. 

You're My temple, you see, if I live in your heart.

This is the reason that I've set you apart.

You need to be different 'cause you’re shining my light.

No matter what people say; and sometimes in spite!



So My precious, My child, My princess. That's you!

You've heard what I've said and you know what to do.

I've given you the tools. Now you've got this girl!

Step with me in faith and go rock the world.

I'll always be with you. Like an unmovable stone.

Friends come and friends go, but you're never alone.



In closing I'll say one more thing; okay, two:

You're Daddy's little girl; and I sure do love you!"

-God