Make Him Jump

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Standards. We all have them. You know, those required stipulations that we have set in place for our future man (or woman) to meet. Sometimes it's a physical list of items waiting to be checked off, most often it's just mental; but we've all got one. Personality traits like patience, a love for animals, and a forgiving spirit are often top-priority. Sometimes even physical attributes like a muscular build and dashing smile make the cut.

I'm no exception to this generalization; I have my own set of standards and requirements. (I've shared some with you before in this post.) I have a mixture of both a physical and mental list of what I'm looking for in a guy. It almost goes without saying that the spiritual traits are MOST important to me, but I do (like a typical sappy girl always does) have a certain preference when it comes down to some of those physical traits.

Standards are a good thing. A valuable thing!

I'd say every girl has a mixture of both fluid and immovable standards. Fluid standards being the ones that come down to more just preference- the ones that might change or vary as time goes on; for example, dark hair vs. lighter hair. Oftentimes the physical qualities we prefer fit into this fluid category. A girl may prefer one thing or another, but that doesn't become a make-it or -break-it thing. She's not gonna turn down a godly man's proposal because he has the wrong eye color- at least I hope not! I might rather that my man sing Josh Turner songs to me, but if he's more of a Brad Paisley guy, that's cool too! Fluid standards.

Immovable standards are ones that we just can't budge on. My guy HAS to be a true, ever transforming, believer of Jesus Christ. I will not settle for less. Another immovable, unbudgeable one for me is the idea of children.  My guy HAS to value life, especially that of the unborn and he MUST be willing to allow the Lord to determine the size of our family. I'm not going to enter a relationship with a man that doesn't view children the way God does- as precious and valuable.

I've had the opportunity to share some of my standards with a few of my peers. Of course, I've heard strong words of encouragement from those closest to me, but I've also felt the weight of quite a bit of negative feedback. The idea of setting and maintaining high standards in today's society and culture is almost unheard of. I dare say that because high standards for our relationships isn't an easy thing, it's also not the popular thing. People don't want to put in the effort. I don't say that to offend anyone, I'm just speaking truth. Girls and guys alike will chop down their list of immovable standards until they all become fluid ones; ones that depend on the person they "like" and the feeling of the moment. It's sad really. We settle for so much less than God wants for us and then we wonder how in the world we got to the circumstance we're at.

Why Bother?
If standards are hard, why set them?

It's a question I've thought about often enough, surely. I'm the kind of person that needs to know the "why?". I think I've basically summed the answer up in 3 parts.

1. Set Standards are a Solid Home Base for the Individual (Guys and Girls both) to Start From and Come Back to.

It seems to reason that if we have a fixed idea of what we're looking for, then we're not going to stray too far from that starting point when we're en route. It's sort of like buying a car, but not. I get it. Your future spouse isn't a car and we're not going to be doing any test drives; but think about it for a sec. If you're interested in buying a compact car that gets good gas mileage, then you're not going to be looking anywhere near the lot of 18-wheelers! That may seem crazy, but it's just that simple. If you, as a single individual, have "MUST BE SAVED BY THE BLOOD" as your top priority, then that automatically chops a few venues off the list of possibilities. Having that list, especially a physically written down form, is a great way to check yourself on what you're looking at. You can always go back to it and refocus.

2. Set Standards are Biblical.

I know, I know! You can search the entire Bible, cover-to-cover, and never find anything about set standards or God's desire for them. Hear me out though. The Bible carries a theme through its entirety- firstly about God's desire and design for marriage (ie- one man, one woman; leave and cleave; be fruitful and multiply), and secondly about choosing the right person (ie- equally yoked; order of authority; no divorce). As you search deeper through Scripture, you can also find some pretty detailed standards within its chapters. Proverbs 31 is often a chapter that young men go to for guidance as to what to look for in a wife; similarly 1 Timothy can be a good book for young women to set standards out of for their future husband. There is never a situation in life that God's living and active Word can't relate to. He's just awesome like that!

3. Set Standards because You're Worth It!

I'm gonna slightly veer from speaking to a general audience and shift more towards specifically a young woman conversation. I'm not saying that this section doesn't apply to the gentlemen of our group too, it's just that the topic of one's worth doesn't seem to be such a sensitive subject to the guys. Please, keep bearing with me! Just forgive me if I get a little gender specific here, men. :)

Ladies, don't let anyone ever attempt to convince you that you are not valuable. Even if it seems like every man in your life mistreats you and considers you worthless, remember this one thing:

Jesus, the ONLY man who really matters, gave up His own life on the cross to restore you to Him because He thought YOU were worth it. Even if you were the only messed up person in the entire history of persons, He still would've saved you- because He loves you and values the relationship with you.

That very same God didn't stop valuing you when He rose again. No. If you are truly His child, then He considers you even more precious. He even goes so far as to say:

"An excellent woman [one who is spiritual, capable, intelligent, and virtuous] who is he who can find her? Her value is more precious than jewels and her worth is far above rubies or pearls." {Proverbs 31:10 AMP}

Your worth is "far above rubies". So you know what? Don't make it easy on that future man. Your Lord thinks that you are valuable. Your Lord, the One Who is always wooing and drawing you closer to Him, thinks you're valuable. That's big! Set high standards for that future man because you know that you don't need to find your worth in him. You already know you're worth- it's found in Jesus, and you don't need to be "the easy catch". Make that guy work for it. Make your future man get closer to God just to find you sheltered against God's chest. 

Set your bar so high that your future husband has to jump just to reach it. Make him jump, ladies. Make him jump! 

"A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man has to seek Him just to find her."
-Lucado

Look Up

I just have a quick word for you tonight. The Lord spoke to my heart as I was walking down to the barn to feed my animals this evening, and I thought I'd share that with you.

"Look up."

That's what My Lord told me.

When He spoke that word into my heart my eyes were down, focused on the task at hand. I was hurrying- because I was tired, and I kept my gaze on the ground with each step.

"Look Up" He said.

I did, and I was blessed with that beautiful sunset.

Jesus told us that He would return for us, one day, through the clouds. That He'd come when no one was expecting it, "like a thief in the night." [1 Thessalonians 5:2] He commanded us to be vigilant- ever watchful, for that return.

Society is always telling us to "stop and smell the roses." That's great and all, but the roses are on the ground. How am I to be ever watchful of Jesus and His coming if my eyes are still stuck on this earth? Now of course, I'm speaking a bit metaphorically here. We can't literally look up every second of the day; but we do need to be careful of what the eyes of our heart are focused on. In my case this evening, I was so focused on my chore that I almost missed the sunset!

Just be careful my friend, at what your eyes are fixed on right now. Even if you're inside and there's nothing to look up at except for the ceiling, turn the eyes of your heart to look up toward God. Pray, read His Word, or just sit silently for a while and let Him pour into your life. Take your eyes off the stresses of the moment and look up. Take your eyes off the task at hand and look up. Take your eyes off of yourself and look up. 

Look up. Don't miss the sunset that The Lord is offering you right now. 

Freedom

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Freedom 

It's a word we have stitched to our t-shirts. 

It's a hope people immigrate to claim. 

It's an anthem that we shout loud and proud. 

It's a prayer that they didn't die in vain. 

It's a memory of the rights we once had. 

It's a movement to define something new. 

It's unifies to one upright cause. 

It divides the uncompromising few. 

Yes, freedom is a word we all use. 

It's the right to life and liberty. 

But to those that today dare abuse it;

Remember, freedom has never been free. 

With every bead of sweat, it's been paid for. 

With every drop of blood, it's been sured. 

With every new face, been protected. 

With every last breath, been secured. 

To the ones that enlisted, I salute you. 

To the ones that now fight, I thank. 

But to the soldier that never came home, 

It's you we now commemorate. 

Though your life can never be brought back,

I pray that this country can claim, 

That the freedom you fought for was honored

And that your fight was not fought in vain. 

Ever Honor, Never Forget. 

When Life Gets Busy...

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Busyness. It blurs our thoughts, overloads our plate, and distracts our heart from what's important. Oftentimes busyness is mistaken for success or purpose- two attributes we all covet in our own lives. We push and push, run and run, until we've robbed ourselves of every moment of rest thinking that we've achieved some note-worthy status. But it's all a lie. Busyness isn't some stress to be desired, it's a curse to be feared. Busyness is a gift, wrapped straight from the hands of Satan, given in an attempt to steal our peace, our joy, and our quality time with our people and our God. But it only works if we allow it. 

I saw this curse come into fruition yesterday as I busied myself with various chores and tasks. When I finally crawled into bed, the realization hit me that I had not spent any time in my Bible with my Lord. I had allowed my busyness to steal my time with Jesus. 

It happens fast. It's easy to leave God behind  in the wake of our good intentions. Just because I've filled my day, week, month, and year(s) with well-meaning appointments and to-do's doesn't allow me to put my relationship with God on a waiting list until I have a free moment or down day. 

The sad truth is, I've done that. 

I think we all have. 

Another side effect of busyness is the feeling of never actually accomplishing anything; like you're always moving but never going anywhere. I was reading through Haggai today, and the Lord actually addresses this issue in chapter 1. He was angry with the Israelites for not building His Temple. They of course, as all good humans do, responded with a mess of excuses. He, in His all-sovereign state, replied:

"Give careful thought to your ways. 6 You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.” ... 9 “You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the Lord Almighty. “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with your own house."

The Israelites were so busy with their own rituals, agendas, plans, and lives that they neglected God's work. Their busyness inhibited the building of God's house; and so does ours.

Side Note---Now the journey of life is just that: a journey. We all go through seasons permeated with the stresses of family illness, financial strain, study requirements, job demands, or moments where we're just off. In many of these scenarios busyness is unavoidable, and seemingly unending. We can't help that a disease-stricken loved one needs extra care, but we can help our reaction to that situation. We need to be very vigilant during these periods of life. Never exchange time with the Lord for anything. ANYTHING! The Lord never puts more in our life than we can handle. He understands our necessary busyness; but don't make Him second to anything or anyone. Keep Him first, and He'll pull you through. ---

Anyway, we need to feel the weight of this- really feel it. Busyness is Idolatry.  It's the outworking of us saying that our life and schedule is more important than our God. That's bad. The state of being busy fixes a lot of issues for people just by taking our mind off of them; but anything, and I mean any person, place, thing, idea, or itinerary that takes our focus off of God is not only harmful to us (and our relationship with Him) it's sinful- plain and simple.  

I know that I've been convicted of this. I've been found dead wrong, and I've repented. It's a hard thing to see that you're wrong, but I praise the Lord for His grace in getting me (hopefully) back on track. I encourage you now to evaluate your own life. Are you caught up in the busyness? Is there something (maybe multiple things) that has taken your focus off of God? What are some things or areas that you need to rethink, rework, or maybe even remove from your life? 

This will be something that I'll probably have to revisit again. Like I said, it's easy to get caught up in the busy. But as for today, as for this moment, I'm choosing to set aside my own agenda and build God's house. Pray for me, friends! Pray for me. 

Who Am I?

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I was blessed to speak at a young woman's seminar over the weekend. The theme essentially was our identity in Christ, and I was the opening act. I really prayed to The Lord about what He would have me say to these impressionable young girls, and He answered. He's told me to share some of that time with you young women now. I prayed to open the session and then wrote three simple words across the top of the white board: "Who Am I?"