A Heart In... What?!

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Have you ever thought that maybe your sweet, little heart in waiting might actually be a heart in direct opposition? Or maybe a heart in stubborn protest? I know that I've found myself in both of those places on multiple occasions; and a lot of others if I had to be honest. Just in the past couple of days I've realized that my heart isn't one in 'waiting' as much as it's a heart in "I'll do it all by myself". 

I tend to have a problem with trying to fix everything on my own. I'm not even sure why I do it. I mean, really, how can my human, worthless hands be any better at fixing things than the hands of the very God that created the universe? Sometimes I can be really stupid. Nevertheless, here I am again. Last night I was praying- crying out to God to be more accurate, just asking Him to take control, to take over. It felt like one of those "Jesus, take the wheel" moments. I had mentally and emotionally driven myself into this pit that I, in my state of "I'll do it all by myself," couldn't manage to get out of. 

Do you know what God did; or, more truthfully, what God didn't do? He didn't appear out of the dark shadows of my room with blazing glory ready to slay all of my issues. He didn't send thunder and lightning to fix everything in an epic display of His might. He didn't immediately snap His fingers and make all of my problems disappear. He did quietly whisper this promise to me:

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." [Exodus 14:14]

You see, friends, The Lord was asking me to step back into my role of a heart in waiting. He was asking me to relinquish my hold on everything else and just wait on Him once again. In my mind I had come up with all of these possible solutions and here He was quietly requesting me to give those up. Last night, I did. This morning, during my morning quiet time with Him, I did again. It's so easy to pick those other hearts back up.

I don't know where you are today. I don't know what state your heart is in. I do know, however, that I serve a God that is willing and able to fight for us. He's always ready to pick up what we lay at His feet. I encourage to today to search your heart and see just what state you are in right now.  Lay those other hearts at His feet and watch in expectation as He transforms not only your situation, but also as He transforms you. 

Watching Snow Fall

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“If all the snowflakes were candy bars and milkshakes, Oh! What a snow that would be!”  (Barney)

Remember that song? Barney the dinosaur used to sing it. How could you not love Barney? I mean really. He was big and purple and…well...kinda creepy if you think about it… Still, as a little girl, I loved him AND that song. The thought of transforming every snowflake into a different type of candy bar was beyond exciting for a 4 year old! I actually remember praying, one time, with my child-like faith and little-girl voice, “Lord, if You’d really make the snow turn into candy, then I’d love You a lot more!”  I think the Lord smiled that day.

You know, we’ve gotten a lot of snow around here lately. What used to be viewed as fun and innocent is now something I truly dread. I used to love snow; now I don’t. I look at the weather reports and judge them from the standpoint of road conditions.  I see days where work closes early due to the hazardous travel and times where an event I was looking forward to earns a cancellation. Snow, especially these past few months, is not only an inconvenience, but it’s downright destructive.  If only I could snap my fingers when it starts to flurry and transform the whole batch of nasty precipitation into chocolate. J

How many times have you wanted to do that? I don’t mean change snow into candy, although you may’ve wanted to do that too! I mean, how many times have you asked, begged even, for the Lord to take that one thing that is inconvenient, scary, painful, or hard and just turn it into something sweeter; something not…well… it. I’ve done it a lot; many times without even consciously realizing it. I’ll get to a point where I start to feel that pinch of discomfort and I immediately start to pray- asking it to be taken away. 

The Lord has been convicting me of this lately. He’s shown me that this discontentment, this distrust of Him, is sinful. Who am I to question the journey that He’s called me to walk? Who am I, in comparison to He Who Is Sovereign, to doubt that which the He, the Sovereign God, laid forth?

I don’t mean to tell you that it’s wrong and sinful to have questions; rather, they’re a natural, human reaction to unpleasantness.  I don’t even think it’s wrong to ask God why. He already knows our hearts. He knows what we’re thinking. To voice those questions and heartfelt concerns to Him is just honest communion. He wants us to be open with Him.

The Bible is filled with accounts of people, God’s people, asking God to change their situation. Moses asked God to send someone else to Pharaoh.  [Exodus 4:13] Job asked for God to take away his suffering. [Job 13:20] Paul asked the Lord to take away his “thorn”. [2 Corinthians 12:8] Even Jesus asked His Father to let the cup of crucifixion pass from Him. [Matthew 26:39]

What’s the difference? Why am I wrong to ask God to remove the discomfort from me, but the perfect without-sin Jesus can do it? Because, friends, my heart is wrong.

 Jesus said:

 “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” [Matthew 26:39]

Here lately, when I’ve prayed for the Lord to take away the snow and ice or heal me from this cold, I’m more demanding that God fit His will into my schedule. Jesus was honest with God. He basically said ‘I know what You want Me to do. I know what’s in store for Me. It’s going to be rough. It’s going to be excruciating. If there is any other way, Let’s do that; but I know that there isn’t. So don’t do what the flesh of Me wants. Do what Your plan has set forth.’

What if we were to pray like that? What if we were to say “God, this hurts. God, this is tough. God, this is almost too much for me to bear. BUT I trust in You. Don’t do what my flesh wants. Don’t allow me to be swayed by my own sinful desires. Rather Lord, do what is best for Your will. Complete the work that will further Your kingdom farthest.” If all Christians were to pray about their situations like Jesus did, this world would be a different place!

Today, it’s still snowing/freezing raining. Today, my work is closed and our driveway is iced in. You know what, though? The Lord has brought me to a place where I can watch the snow fall with a drastically different perspective. We all need that reminder from time to time.

What *snow* is God asking you to just watch fall? What trial is He asking you to trust Him through?

No Vacancy!

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Well, Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and you know what that means: cheesy pick-up lines, nasty flavored candy hearts, wilted grocery store flowers, and reminders everywhere that you haven’t yet met that special person. The most romantic day of the year can also be one of the loneliest.  We live in a world where the word “love” is just a nonchalant term, during a time period where to have a “love” is simply status quo.  As single young men and women, culture is constantly telling us to open our hearts and love will find its way in.  This Valentine’s Day, I’m telling you that not only should we NOT open our hearts, but we should also be guarding them tightly.  

I was shopping at a local thrift store the other week and came across a grey, crew neck shirt.  It was a lady’s cut, which, as long as it wasn’t too tight, would suit my figure well. Over the front was a bright pink heart. I really wanted to like it, overall the whole thing was pretty; but I couldn’t. As a matter of fact, I was disgusted by it. Why would I be disgusted by a modestly-cut, well-priced, causal top, you ask? The shirt had an open sign inside the heart, that’s why.

Now, before you knock me for being against open signs, hear me out. What do you think of when you see such a sign? I envision unlocked doors. I see a place where people can enter and leave as they please.  From the viewpoint of one who is behind the counter most times, I see people who always want something from you and, more often than not, exit without even giving a tip. I watch as every person that enters leaves behind their muddy footprints or grubby fingerprints. With that being said, is that something that we should model our hearts after? Probably not.

The sad part of it is that that’s the example this culture wants our hearts to follow. It keeps telling us to ‘open our hearts, give love a try’. So many people listen to this and end up getting hurt- spiritually, emotionally, and sometimes even physically. Every person that you let walk around in your heart will leave behind their own muddy footprints. Believe me, it’s a whole lot easier to mop mud and muck off of the shop floor than it is to remove it from your heart.

So what’s the solution? How, especially during this the most tempting time of the year, can we protect ourselves from such a mess? The Bible tells us to:

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” [Proverbs 4:27]

Guard is an active word. There is nothing passive or lazy about standing vigilant watch over something. I can’t just hilly-nilly close the door to my heart and hope that it stays shut. I need to constantly be barricading it.  How do we do that? For starters, fill your life with God’s Word and go often to Him in prayer.  Then, how about taking down that open sign?! In all seriousness, maybe our heart should instead sport a nice, neon, “No Vacancy.” If I’m not advertising that there’s room for rent in my heart, then those that would try to take advantage of me relationship-wise are already filtered out.  The one that finds delight in the Lord, that fills their heart with Him and His Word, reeks to the world around them of contentment and joy.  For those who would seek to use you, those qualities are an automatic turn-off; for the godly person, they generate automatic interest.

Now, I’m not telling you to become a hermit and never socialize with people of the opposite gender. By no means do I think that’s a good idea! What I am saying is that if you keep your heart locked from the romantic emotions game, then that makes it all the more special when you do unlock the door for that one specific person. I think my man will like to enter my heart and not find anyone else’s mess already there. I know I will for his!

So, you can decide for yourself this Valentine’s Day which sign to hang over the door of your heart. As for me, this girl’s got “No Vacancy.” I will, however, be leaning against the door waiting for that one special knock…

Fitted Sheets

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When my sister and I were younger we played a lot of dress-up. Mostly, we pretended to be mommies. We’d imagine that our husband was off to work somewhere and then we’d tie our apron on. The rest of the playtime consisted of cooking dinner for our pretend husband (who never showed up to eat it), cleaning our house and tending to our baby dolls; who, mind you, cried a lot! I’m sure many of you had a similar experience. You know though, those afternoon playtimes basically surmised my view of wife/motherhood. I used to believe, maybe not consciously, that a wife’s job was to cook, clean and care for her children; that was it. As I grew, however, I realized that it isn’t…ur…well at least that’s not the sum total of her job description.

The other day I was folding laundry- more specifically, a pile of sheets- and a thought crossed my mind, “He’s gonna need someone to fold the fitted sheets.” Now, I really don’t like folding fitted sheets! I’m one of those people that have a strong bit of perfectionism inside. When I’m folding laundry, I like crisp corners and neat folds. Fitted sheets break every rule in the perfect-folds booklet. With their elastic-y, gathered edges and their thick, plushy tops, it’s near impossible to get even a neat roll out of the thing; let alone a flat, crisp fold! With that being said, when this thought occurred to me it actually made me smile! How could I smile at the thought of folding fitted sheets for the rest of my life, you ask? Because the fact that, maybe just maybe, he wouldn’t need me to just cook, clean, and tend the children (like that’s not enough, right?) was a beautiful revelation. The thought that my strong, capable, future husband would actually need me to help him in more intricate ways was thrilling.

I’m a fairly independent person. As the oldest child of a big family, I think you almost need to be. You’re the one that all those younger siblings are looking up to, depending on. You’re the one that mom and dad go to first for almost everything. Over the years I’ve played roles as councilor, skape-goat, babysitter, housekeeper, personal chef, maid, psychologist, tutor, seamstress, 2^nd in command, general, and friend.  I need to be needed. So the thought that I may one day get married and no longer be as needed kinda broke my heart. Now, I don’t recall ever physically having this exact thought process, but looking back, I subconsciously believed this.

You may have felt, and thought, some of the same things. Be encouraged, dear friend! The more I’ve read, the more I’ve studied, the more I’ve watched my own mother, I’ve grown to realize that a wife-and eventually a mom, too- fills so many more roles and positions than I could even imagine. If and when the Lord has it for us to be married, that man WILL need us (and we will need him, too, but that’s another post entirely). Whether we like it or not, he WILL need us to fold those fitted sheets so that they fit into the linen closet. He WILL need us to check his pockets and make sure that he emptied them before they go into the washer; and then he WILL need us to shove those same pockets properly back into his pants before he wears them again. He’s gonna need a helpmate. He is gonna need YOU! My guy is gonna need me! As a team you’re, we’re, gonna work together in one fluid motion. For the plan that the Lord has for us to be accomplished, we’re each gonna need to do our part; you know, fill our biblical role. Whether that’s cleaning out the rain gutters to prevent ice-dams in the winter (for him) or folding those fitted sheets (for you), you’ll each have a part, a HUGE PART, to play.

So go forth and practice folding those fitted sheets. Believe me, we’ll need all the practice we can get!