a Heart in waiting: Grit&Grace- Not Just Another Pretty Face~ Hannah, Hurting Yet Hopeful

Hey there! Welcome to the first installment of aHeartinWaiting's weekly series posts. Basically, for those of you that are hearing this idea for the first time, I am endeavoring to begin a weekly posting, on Thursdays, specifically set aside to delve deeper into some of our topics. This will allow us to study and focus on some things for a bit longer than the usual one posting; all while giving me leeway to post as the Spirit leads, like normal. So our Thursday series will be linked together with each other, and yet separate from my other spur-of-the-moment thoughts. Hopefully this will be a more substantial and regular blessing for all y'all awesome readers out there!

ANYWHO! (enough of the public service announcement, am I right?!)

Our first series is entitled "Grit&Grace- Not Just Another Pretty Face". This series will be roughly six weeks long and will focus on the account of a different woman of the Bible each time. We will be delving into the details of the story and really looking at characteristics of each of these women and also how the Lord worked mightily through their lives. I've really been pumped about it ever since the Lord laid the idea on my heart. I pray that it will speak to you as well.

Well, without further ado.... Series1Post1~ Hannah, hurting yet hopeful.

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Grit&Grace, as the name implies, is really focused on tackling the extraordinary character traits that are hidden inside the seemingly ordinary women of the Bible. To really be able to appreciate where I'm *going* with all of this, I think it would be helpful if you first understood where I am *coming* from. How does a quick breakdown of terms sound to you?

Grit- (No. I don't mean that gravelly stuff that makes up your driveways) In a word, it's strength. It's tenacity. It's backbone. To say that someone has "grit" is to imply that they have an inner toughness about them that won't allow them to back down or crumble under pressure or hardship. To me, "grit" has always had a positive connotation. Meaning that the referred to person is strong and capable; resourceful and unwavering.

Grace- Have you ever tripped over your own two feet and then heard someone so snarkily reply with "Way to go, Grace" ? Well, although their sarcasm isn't appreciated in the moment, that's what I'm talking about here! When I hear 'grace' (outside of the connotation of the Bible, mind you), I think "princess." Not royalty, per say, but a class and a charm that is purely feminine. A softness, if you will, a gentile touch. It's a warm quality, one positive and pleasant. It's dignified. Grace, within the context of God and His character, has always meant to give something that is not deserved. God gave the ultimate gift to the utmost undeserving populace when He sent Jesus to die for us. To us applicably, sometimes a soft word in a heated argument is the most gracious thing available.

So, Grit and Grace, tenacity and femininity, not backing down all while gently navigating the situation. It's a beautiful paradox. And it's exactly what characteristic Hannah, from 1 Samuel, exhibited.

You see, for the first post of our first series, I found it only fitting that we delve into the character of one woman who was in waiting for a very long time. I mean, waiting is a HUGE part of what we talk about here, is it not? XD

Anyway, Hannah, to be brief, was Elkanah's wife and she was barren. She couldn't have children. As sad as that is today, it was almost disgraceful back in the Old Testament days. A man had to have someone to pass on his family's name to. 1 Samuel 1 speaks of Elkanah having two wives. Now, this practice was not encouraged in the Bible, but it certainly wasn't unheard of either- a male heir was just *that* important to the men of Bible times. There is much speculation that Hannah was Elkanah's first wife, and then after they found her to be barren, he married a second time- to Peninnah (In the hopes of finally having a son to pass his lineage on to).

Now go with me, for a moment, into the world of Hannah. Taste and see, if you will, exactly where she's coming from- what's she's feeling.

Scripture doesn't tell us how old Hannah was at the time of this account, but if we deduce from the text a bit we can guess that she is probably 20's/early 30's. She is old enough to be married and barren for "years and years" [1:3]; she is old enough that Peninnah has had children while she couldn't [1:2]; and yet she is not passed the average age of child bearing. That's my guess anyway.

So she's like our age, ladies. 1 Samuel goes on to tell us that she longs for a child of her own [1:11-12]. Her heart is in anguish and grieves over this longing.

Have you ever been there? Have you ever been waiting for something for so long, desired something so greatly, that you were literally heartsick over it? Have you ever poured out the emotions of your heart in bitter tears because waiting for it hurts just that much? Samuel tells us that poor Hannah was in this state for years! Years!! [1:3, 7]

The cherry on top of all of this is the ever dreadful Peninnah. Scripture states that she gloated over Hannah. She provoked and ridiculed her for being barren. [1:7] Like, come on. Talk about pouring salt into an open wound!

It wasn't enough for Hannah to watch Peninnah hold close the exact thing she desired. It wasn't enough still that she felt guilt and worthlessness as her husband coddled the infants of another woman because she couldn't give them to him. No, to make matters worse, that very woman who had it all when Hannah had none decided to stab Hannah with her words and actions and then twist that knife to open the wound farther.

Y'all, I've had Peninnah's in my life. I've known those women that seem to have it all and yet aren't satisfied until they've rubbed it in your face. I'd be willing to bet that you've known that type of woman, too. And I'm ashamed to admit that I've been Peninnah from time to time, as well. It hurts to say it, but I have. I've gloated. I've flaunted my position and possession. It's disgraceful; I was.

The natural reaction to such intense hurting being met by such cruel arrogance is to retaliate. To snap back or make a hurtful comment. Because, for whatever reason in our minds, maybe just maybe, if we hurt them back then it might help us feel better. Right?

Hannah doesn't do this, however, as far as Scripture lays forth. No. She doesn't do much of anything in return. Only three things, really. Scripture says that, in response to this cruel treatment, Hannah

1) wept, bitterly at times [1:7, 10]

2)refused to eat. Many scholars believe that she was fasting during this time.

Y'all, she cried, she fasted. That, that right there, that's grace.

Is that how you handle hurt? Is that your go-to response to years and years' worth of pain and disappointment? I know it's not my natural response.

To keep my vengeful comments to myself; To allow myself to cry but not publicize my grief to the world; that's grace.

But I said that Hannah did three things, didn't I?

Mhmm. I did!

You see, Hannah didn't *just* cry and fast. Scripture says that she prayed. She prayed a lot. [1:10, 12-13, 16] She went to the place of worship and poured out her heart to God. She was honest, almost brutally so; but she knew that she could be so with her Almighty God. Year after year after year she sought Him in prayer over this desire. Year after year after year she waited with the same situation.

That's grit. That fervency in prayer, that refusal to back down? Yep, grit!

And you know what? The Lord rewarded Hannah for her character- for both the grace and the grit. He gave her a child- I'll let you read the rest of the passage to get the whole idea; but God did bless her. [1:1-2:21]

Ladies, I know you've felt hurt. I'm sure you've known pain. I'm positive you've had desires that you've had to wait for. Think back on those times. How did you handle them? Did you act like Hannah and exude a bit of grit and a lot of grace? Or was your response more worldly? Did you fly off on someone or spread it to all your friends?

The hurts in this life aren't always constant, but they are relentless. They come at the most inconvenient times and don't seem to let up quickly. The periods of waiting seem endless and hopeless. When the two are coupled together, the hurt and the waiting, life can seem almost hopeless.

Psalms so eloquently gives encouragement in this matter.

"I will wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, and in His Word I will put my hope." [130:5]

Y'all, waiting is never easy. Waiting during times of hurt is even harder. But I encourage you with this- do like Psalm says, wait for the Lord. Put your hope in Him and His Word. Mimic Hannah's character. Cry to the Lord and never stop praying. Show your own amount of Grace mixed with grit in the midst of the wait.